"Not many of you should become teachers" or seek to become teachers Saint James says. And I think to myself, "Am I seeking to become a teacher?" Not in the strictest sense. However, by writing and talking and living in the situations I do, I find myself in a tutorial position. And then at times I become self-conscious and tremble with a real fear. I see how far short of the glory of God I fall--how far short I fall of the very things I speak about (see Romans 3:23).
Should I not speak of such things then? For I do have the sneaking suspicion that I am going to fall under the category of those who will be judged more strictly. But then I think of all of us Christians who talk an awful lot and read an awful lot about Jesus, about his ways, about the Church, about our heavenly father.
We mistake our talk for a life lived (We're full of God-talk but quite God-less). In a sense, God cares not how much we talk about him. What he cares about is if our life is consistent with how we talk. And of course we need his grace for our life to match our words. But if our words far out pace the life of Christ in us, creating a large gap, we better rethink what we actually believe. Because we live what we actually believe, not what we think we believe.
I do tremble. And I pray, "God have mercy on me a sinner." My worst nightmare is to make God look bad because of how I live in my everyday common life. I do not want to misrepresent him in the mundane, even in the unseen--in my thoughts.
God have mercy on me a sinner. This day. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
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